How Cats Choose Their Favorite Person

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Split view of two cats: Leo, the Maine coon x Norwegian forest cat, on the left, and a fluffy white cat on the right

r/SupermodelCats/Reddit.com & @widgetthemidget2020 /Instagram.com

If your home contains a feline family member as well as humans, you might find it’s a bit of a competition about which particular person the cat likes most.

Everyone will likely believe that they’re the most deserving of the cat’s affection, maybe because they do all the feeding or clean out their litter box every morning. So, do cats have a favorite person? And if you’re a cat owner, how can you make sure it’s you?

Do Cats Have Favorite People?

It might seem hard to believe if you don’t own a cat, but many cats do seem to choose a favorite family member. You’d think it would be the person who does most of the caring for them, wouldn’t you?

But actually, the person your cat has the greatest affinity for might not be the person who cares for them the most, who feeds them, or who pays their vet bills!

Quite often, a cat’s favorite person is someone who doesn’t like cats that much at all! In some cases, it seems like the harder you try to get your cat’s affection, the less interested they are. It’s the people who avoid them and don’t invade their space who might end up being the favorite.

Signs You’re Your Cat’s Favorite Person

hold cat

If your cat is fully relaxed and falls asleep, that’s the ultimate display of trust.

Cat behavior is quite complex, and cats bond in different ways. Therefore, there are different ways that your feline friend might let you know that you’re their favorite. One indication might be if yours is the lap they choose to curl up on when given a choice.

And if they fully relax and fall asleep, that’s the ultimate display of trust. Equally, if they rub against you and give you affectionate headbutts, known as bunting, it means you’re doing something right! Many cats purr when they’re around their favorite family member.

Another way you’ll know is if they’re the feline version of your shadow, and you can’t do anything around the house without them keeping you company.

Why Do Cats Choose Favorite People?

When cats choose their favorite person, it’s a sign of trust. For them, being around or even in contact with someone they fully trust means that they can completely relax and rest at ease because they feel safe from harm.

After all, if they let their guard down, they’re relying on you to protect them. But being your cat’s favorite human doesn’t just mean being a safe place to sleep, you’re also someone they can enjoy having fun with during playtime.

Also Read: 8 Purrfect Games You Can Play With Your Cat

How To Help Your Cat Trust You More?

If you want your cat to trust you more, try to read their body language. If they’re flicking their tail or have their ears back, they don’t want to be approached. If you barge straight up to them or grab them for a cuddle at a time like this, you won’t get a great response!

It’s far better to wait until they’re showing signs of wanting to interact by chirruping at you, rubbing against you, or purring. It’s always best to let them approach you, and you can even buy some ‘cupboard love’ with a treat or two as positive reinforcement when they come to you for a cuddle.

When you watch your cat’s behavior, you can also work out what they enjoy doing. When you know what activities or cat toys your cat loves, you can try to share these moments with them.

It’s also a good idea to acknowledge your cat’s dislikes and modify your own behavior. Try to be calmer and quieter when your cat is around and avoid sudden loud noises or big movements that might put them on edge.

You can also enhance this calming effect by using calming sprays and diffusers, some of which will even help to solidify your cat’s bond with you. You can find calming products like Pet Remedy and Feliway on Amazon.

Finally, you should create a safe space for your cat. If your cat retreats to this space, you should respect their desire for alone time. Remember, each time you respect your cat’s communication and acknowledge their body language; you show them that you understand them and can be trusted.

Don’t take it personally, though; there’s plenty of room for your friendly feline to love you as well. If you spend some time responding to their body language, you can develop a strong bond, and, who knows, you might even become their new favorite in the family!

Frequently Asked Questions

Do cats usually pick a favorite person?

It’s very common for cats to pick a favorite person. Unsurprisingly, sometimes their favorite person is the one who spends the most time playing with them, feeding them treats, and giving them a fuss. However, it's also quite normal if your cat’s favorite person is someone who isn’t that obsessed with cats, or even someone who doesn’t like them! After all, cats are contrary creatures!

How do you know if you’re the cat’s favorite person?

Your cat’s favorite person is usually someone they trust. They might let you know that you’re their favorite by falling asleep on you or rubbing against you and marking you with their scent. They might leave you little presents from their latest kill if they're a hunter. They might even spend most of their time following you and meowing … or that might just be because they want more food!

What does it mean when a cat chooses you?

When a cat chooses you as their favorite, it's a massive compliment. It means they value your bond, and they trust you completely. Cats are usually on high alert and rarely relax for fear of attack or intruders. However, if they regularly snooze on your lap, they’re letting you know that your lap feels like a safe space, and they trust you to deal with any predators.

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About Dr. Joanna Woodnutt, MRCVS

Dr. Woodnutt is a small animal veterinarian and cat behavior and nutrition writer. She's passionate about helping owners to learn more about their pets in order to improve animal welfare. In her spare time, Dr. Woodnutt takes consultations on the small island of Guernsey.

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